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We've all been there. We send out a text without really knowing what to text a girl only to receive nothing back in return. Crickets…
What should you text a girl and when?
1. First-Time Dating Site/App Messaging: Get short and specific.
2. She Gives You Her Number: Pique her attention within 48 hours.
3. After The First Date: Pick a funny moment that happened.
4. Date #2 And Beyond: Switch to being witty and succinct.
Texting can certainly help facilitate our dating game, but it can also be detrimental if we're not careful.
If you take only *one thing* away from this entire article about what to text a girl, take this: Less is More.
Texting is very much like emailing in the sense that it lacks any sort of tone or context.
That's where the art of crafting great text messages can really help you stand out of crowd of guys that are just begging for her attention.
Witty and succinct is what you're going for each and every time you click “Send.”
Here are the four above most common scenarios we all face and suggestions on what to text her in each of them:
1. First-Time Dating Site/App Messaging
As a writer, I've been fortunate enough for my brain to have an endless supply of openers in every situation imaginable.
I used to test openers out when I was using eHarmony constantly. I'd try them on girls I was somewhat attracted to first to see if I they'd have any success.
Whatever got me the best responses I would then use on the girls I was most attracted to to open up the conversation with them.
One way I realized men fail miserably at doing on these dating sites is not reading her profile in detail…
Don't just look at her photos!
But the real meat is in how she presents herself through her words.
We'll write her a message with something bland like “Hey.” Or we'll compliment her on one of her physical attributes…
When it comes to what to text a girl or message her for a first point of contact, these two methods will get you to nowheresville…
Instead, get specific. She'll like the fact you put in the effort unlike those other lazy guys pinging her. Something like “Omg you're into salsa dancing too? We should Cumbia sometime…”
That one had a bit more sexual energy behind it than I intended (lol)… but it's definitely witty and succinct.
And yes, I had to look up a basic salsa step on Google to get specific for the example. Your research 9 times out of 10 will typically be rewarded from your interaction with her.
2. She Gives You Her Number
Great! You got her number! A lot of us in this situation will be like “Now what??” after the excitement subsides.
The first text is important because it frames a majority of our communication with her moving forward.
That's because most people text rather than talk on the phone nowadays.
There's no illusion that texting can be an unforgiving process. Let's face it, sometimes we will never hear back from her…
This is the hardest situation of any texting scenario to convert her interest into a first date.
The reason is that there is little investment in you at this point. She could easily ignore you if she's not feeling the vibe when you reach out.
Here are a few fun text openers: “Sooo we're hangin' out tonight, in case you didn't know.” “In the mood to have some fun? Type “Y” for YES…”
“We should probably hang out soon.” Just a few examples if you're unsure what to text her when the moment's right.
Make sure whatever you text her is done within 48 hours of getting her number.
If you've done a good job of building rapport with her, you'll know because she'll be texting you back. Pretty simple litmus test, wouldn't you say?
READ my review of David Deangelo Cocky Comedy to discover how to never run out of fun things to say to her >>
3. After The First Date
When our mind is totally baffled about what to text a girl, you want to keep in mind how things were left the last time you two communicated with each other.
Was there anything interesting about that interaction? If so, you could open with recalling that moment by asking a specific question to bring her right back to that moment…
So long as it was a positive one…
If things were left on a “not-so-specific” note, you can always use a situational opener.
This is where you text her about something that just happened or you're currently experiencing as you text her.
As long as that experience aligns with something you two discussed or experienced at some point and isn't totally random, it will work much better.
Here's an example: “Sooo I just had another bartender card me and tell me I look really young… Do I look like I'm 12??”
Please don't text her “Hey” or “What's up” by itself for the first text exchange. Be creative.
4. Date #2 And Beyond
By this point, our confidence in what to text a girl, particularly the one you've now had a couple of dates with, should be quite high.
With each date, feel free to step up the texting frequency a little bit more.
It's a good idea to gauge when to text and how to text based on the feedback you're getting from her through her own text messages.
As long as you're not glued to your phone waiting for her every response, the texting will progress naturally.
Keep it light and fun and no big clunky long paragraphs either… Remember, witty and succinct.
Everlasting Inspiration For What To Text Her
Wait for a day to come around when you're feeling fresh and inspired. Pull out a notepad and pen. Write out 20 possible texts to girls that playfully reflect our personality.
The key here is to not judge what you're writing. Just write.
Pick out your Top 10 from the list. Save those 10 texts somewhere on your phone.
The next time you're in a situation where you want to text a girl, pull out this list and choose one.