shocked young woman in jacket and scarf look at her cell phone

You had a great first date with him last night. He was charming, held doors, pulled out your seat for you, and even paid for dinner. He texts you the next day saying he had a great time, which leaves you sitting there asking yourself, “what should I text him?”

What should you text him to get his attention?

1. Remind Him You Exist: Keep it super short.

2. Get Him To Ask You Out: Use the foot-in-the-door technique.

3. Compliment Him: Compliment on his actions.

4. Give Him A Little Nudge: “Tag, you’re it.”

5. The Infamous Booty Call: “Netflix and chill?”

6. Ask Him Why He's Ghosting You: Last ditch efforts…

Let's start with the good news for you, ladies: The texting game is nearly 100% on his shoulders

Naturally, men become the pursuer in the dating game. That pursuit has moved significantly onto our smartphones, where men creatively seek to keep a woman's interest through text messaging.

But, let's face it, sometimes men need a little nudge to get that process started. Or, sometimes you just want to know what he's up to or where you really stand with him.

So if you've recently asked yourself, “what should I text him,” here are six situations for texting him and ways you can capitalize on each:

what should i text him 2

1. Remind Him You Exist

This is what I like to call “The First Contact.”

Sometimes men are great at getting your number…but then terrible at hitting you up to get the conversation going.

This is a great opportunity for you to take the initiative and drop him a quick line. And when I say quick, I mean short

I always liked it when a woman threw a random nickname at me.

For example, I love tennis, which this one woman knew, since we spoke at length about it on a date. She got our texting going by texting me “Hey Roger Federer. You gonna serve?”

I absolutely loved this because the text was funny and called me out for not texting her at the same time.

Try to ascribe a cute little nickname to him by using something you two connected on the last time you saw each other.

If he doesn't hit you back or is weird with what he texts, it's a great way to screen him out right there.

Now, I'm assuming that you have his number already for this one. Ping him and say “hello.”

man and woman hiking

2. Get Him To Ask You Out

I call this one “The Foot In The Door.”

Guys are great at texting about nothing, which you've probably experienced by now. We're not always great at advancing the conversation to an action, like going out on a date.

That being said, we may need a little prompting if you're itching to see us.

This situation is very similar to the above in that it wakes us up out of our haze. One time I had a girl I hadn't texted in a few days hit me up with “so I just dusted off my hiking shoes………..”

Again, I laughed and played along by texting back “sooooo you wanna go hiking with me tomorrow?”

You get the picture.

Make sure your texts lead him to some sort of action.

READ How To Flirt With A Guy to learn how to get him to start pursuing you >>

homeless man holds out a copper mug for spare change

3. Compliment Him

You can pepper your messaging game with what I call “The Touch n Go.”

Men love a good random compliment here and there, especially coming from a woman. You don't want to overdo this one on the same guy, because it'll lose its effectiveness.

Just keep it short and sweet, OK?

Complimenting him on a physical attribute is nice, like “hey soft lips.” But what's even better is when you compliment him on something he did that was good.

One time I gave a homeless man a dollar on a date and she texted me something like “such a big heart helping the homeless last night.”

It made me feel good that she recognized me trying to help someone out.

young girl chasing young boy around outside

4. Give Him A Little Nudge

This one is called “The All Clear.” If he's the shy type, you definitely may be using this one a few times.

Again, we're always being playful with our texts. When you're pulling your hair out and you're thinking “what should I text him,” send what this one girl sent me once: “Tag. You're it.”

Snap us out of our funk! We'll hang out in that space too long sometimes if you let us.

netflix and chill text

5. The Infamous Booty Call

The ol' “Netflix and Chill” text.

This should be one of these easier text messages you fire off because you could literally text him “Netflix and chill?” and he'll be right over.

I recommend coming in at a slightly different angle with teasing him a little first.

Fire off something simple like “Hey you” first and let him respond. Then, hit him with “you think this is a Netflix and chill text, huh?” He'll be like “Umm no?” Then, you can slide him something like “Jk, get your cute buns over here.”

Having a playful moment like that up front drives us wild after we fully realize your intentions. Try it out on him.

girl in car waving bye bye with text "so over him" superimposed

6. Ask Him Why He's Ghosting You

This is “The Post Ghost” text.

He's “ghosted” you. You're pretty much over it at this point and want to throw him one last chance to revive his text game. If you don't hear back from him after this, just delete his number because he's done.

So now you might wondering what to text him in this scenario. Literally anything would suffice at this point…

Here are a couple of examples of “Hail Mary” Post Ghost texts: “So I'm kind of forgetting what you look like….” “Earth to [His Name]… Do you read?” “Why so shy lately, hmm?”

If he does get back to you, he's got some work to do to get back into your good graces. Don't go easy on him.

Turn learn what to do if a guy totally flakes on you, watch my Youtube video He Just Flaked On Me here.

Don't Obsess About His Response

Men appreciate women with solid texting skills. It makes it more fun for us, especially when texting can feel more like a chore.

Hopefully, he can initiate first and keep things fun from the beginning. But if not, just remember punchy and bold texts will get his attention fast. If he's texting other women, you'll stand out.


READ NEXT: How To Get A Boyfriend – Discover how rope in the right guy for a relationship >>


  1. julienne murekatete November 30, 2018
    • Ryan Patrick November 30, 2018
  2. John December 2, 2018
    • Ryan Patrick December 2, 2018

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