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If you’ve been single long enough, you’re probably heard of speed dating and have maybe wanted to try it. Well, fortunately, I have some excellent speed dating tips that will help you own the night.
So, what are the best speed dating tips to help you stand out from the crowd?
1. Use The Pique Technique.
2. Dress To Impress.
3. Don’t Ask The Same Questions.
4. Show Up Early And Stay Late.
5. Keep Things Light.
6. Don’t Be Afraid To Tease A Bit.
7. Don’t Rush Off.
8. Remember To Follow Up On Your Matches.
It goes like this…
People join up in a group for the evening in close-quartered tables and spend a few minutes with each partner to see if there’s any chemistry.
Speed dating is an idea that was created in the 1990’s, and it’s been a popular way for people to meet ever since.
A lot of people love to give speed dating a try because it’s a great way to mix things up.
The only thing speed dating events have in common is that the time couples have to speak to each other is limited.
If both parties are open to getting to know each other further, then information is exchanged and then they can link up later on.
Event organizers are in charge of setting the venue, time limits on conversations, how many partners you can ‘date,’ and other parameters around the event.
It’s a unique way to meet lots of people super fast…
Doing it will hone your ability to start up conversations with strangers and know how to discern when there’s chemistry in the air.
Here are these eight helpful speed dating tips laid out in detail for you before your next event:
1. Use The Pique Technique
If you haven’t heard of the pique technique, here’s the gist…
Basically, instead of making a standard request, a person asks a question in an unusual manner that attracts attention and draws interest from others.
It’s essentially a way for people to bring other peoples’ focus on them. It causes the recipient of the request to pause and process the what you’re saying.
Usually people find it endearing, or see figuring you out as a challenge, so they’re more committed to getting to know you than they would be otherwise.
Using the pique technique is a nice way to get someone’s number because it’s been shown to increase the potential for compliance.
People have their interest ‘piqued’ and are more willing to agree to the request, make sense?
If you’re dying to get that speed dating partner’s number or some information about their personal life, try the pique technique to ask your questions in a slightly unusual manner to gain buy in.
It’s a fabulous tool that can help when you’re operating under the pressure of time restriction.
2. Dress To Impress
Here’s the thing about going to a speed dating event.
You have to figure that there are going to be dozens of other people dressed the same…
If you’re a guy, there will be a million sports jackets with dark jeans, and if you’re a lady you can bet there will be plenty of little black dresses filling the room.
I get it… they’re sort of like the dating uniform…
But you got to make a bold move if you want to stand out.
If you’re dressed like five other guys she’s talked to that night, what are the chances she’ll remember if you’re Stan or Steve?
One of the best speed dating tips is to wear something nice, but that will set you apart from the rest of the crowd.
Try to wear lighter colors, or something a little more fashion-forward so it will catch peoples’ eyes.
You never want to go too overboard when it comes to the wardrobe, though.
Boys, please… don’t show up underdressed. it will look like you. don’t. care.
If you put too much effort in, it can look like you care a little too much.
The right outfit is a perfect mix of formal and fun. Aside from clothing, make sure to look and smell nice before the fun begins.
3. Don’t Ask The Same Questions
You might not think it’s a big deal, but other people will notice if you begin every conversation with, “Hey, how’s it going?”
The same goes for all of your questions and answers. A lot of speed dating activities put folks within earshot.
If someone’s stuck with a boring person, they can pretty easily turn an ear towards what’s coming next.
You want to make sure you’re mixing it up enough to keep things interesting.
You don’t want to end up bored halfway through the evening because you’re asking all the same questions.
Just think of how people on the receiving end will feel…
Now, some people know what they want and that’s a good thing. Perhaps you’re committed to only dating people who love dogs and like their coffee black. Sure, okay.
The challenge here is to find multiple ways to get the information you’re looking for without being robotic.
Trust me, you’ll know when you find someone you connect with.
The conversation will flow, and you won’t need to think about the questions you had originally wanted to ask.
4. Show Up Early And Stay Late
If you’ve been so focused on your career or kids that you’ve neglected romance for a while, it can take some time to knock the rust off.
Again, jumping into speed dating is a fantastic way to meet a lot of people, but the name says it all; it’s full-speed.
Speed dating events can be a lot to handle for introverts or people who’ve been out of the game.
One of the best practical speed dating tips is to arrive early and linger a bit after the event’s over.
Showing up early will let you get the lay of the land before things start. You’ll see how close the tables are, get an idea of how many people will be there, and what you’re in for.
It will allow you to mentally prepare yourself for what’s to come.
Everyone needs a little mental pep talk now and then, and it’s an easier speech to give yourself when you know what to expect.
Sticking around after the event’s wrapped is a good idea too, especially if you’ve connected with someone you want to talk to some more.
Many people leave speed dating events wishing they’d had a little more time to talk to that person they felt a connection with.
Hanging around after the event will give you a chance to cover any open bases and make sure you set yourself up properly for the next date.
5. Keep Things Light
You know, there’s a reason why dating coaches like myself tell people not to talk about their exes…
It’s because it happens over and over…
Some people just don’t seem to get that you need to make a good first impression.
When you walk in for a job interview, you don’t want to tell them about all the mistakes you made at your last job. It’s the same with relationships.
Perhaps the most important speed dating tip out there is to stay upbeat and sell yourself. Accentuate the positive.
Go into the speed dating event with one real goal, to find someone you like and get them to go on a second date with you.
Talk about hobbies, where you went to school, a cool trip you took.
Even better, ask questions about them. Shift your focus to the person you’re engaged with, so they feel special and want to spend more time around you.
Ask them about the craziest thing they’ve ever done, or which celebrity they would love to date.
Spend time getting to know they so you can decide whether you want to spend more time with them.
6. Don’t Be Afraid To Tease A Bit
This goes along with keeping things light. Listen, you’re already in a sort of strange environment. Think about it…
You’re paying or have been invited to an event where you have a timed interaction with complete strangers to see if they potentially are someone you could fall in love with.
It’s already off the wall… so don’t be afraid to loosen yourself up!
Laughing at the situation with your partner might be a nice way to break the ice. A bit friendly teasing or laughs is always welcome.
Start by making a joke about yourself or someone else before trying anything on your partner.
You never know how sensitive someone will be. Also, if you’re on your tenth person and things are getting a little repetitive, throw in a curve ball question to spice things up.
In addition, you can tell them a crazy story from your past that will let them see deeper into the real you.
The whole point of speed dating is to open yourself up and take a peek into other people to see if there could be something there.
7. Don’t Rush Off
One of my other important speed dating tips is that it’s important to remember that goodbyes are just as important as hellos.
You can do everything perfectly the entire speed dating exchange. But if you screw up the end part, that’s all they’ll remember.
This is particularly important if the speed dating is happening in rather close quarters.
You might take a peek over who’s coming up next and get excited about the switch. It could make you wrap things up awkwardly in a haphazard way.
Just be careful, because that next partner may be watching, as well.
As important as it is to find someone you connect with, it’s also a good idea to be polite and not burn any bridges with any partners.
Give him or her the attention they deserve and recognize that they are there for a reason. They deserve all the respect you’d expect yourself.
If you’ve found someone you like, be aware of the time so you can finish things off well.
An important speed dating “do” is to get his or her number and ask about follow up plans.
You can tell them when to expect your call, or if time allows you can make plans for a first date then and there.
Wrap things up in a bow to leave them thinking about how polished you were. They’ll be super excited to meet up again.
8. Remember To Follow Up On Your Matches
You’ve overcome the nerves and shown up. You also sat through the awkward instructions and introductions and gone through the speed dating lineup.
For people who haven’t dated in a while, or are naturally shy or introverted, it can be a lot in one evening.
Feel good about getting to the finish line.
Hopefully you’ve had a positive experience and met some women or men who you feel could be promising.
All you’ve got to do now is commit to follow up.
It’s crazy that some people will go through all that effort meeting people, feel a certain amount of chemistry, get phone numbers, and for some reason not call in the days following the event.
I hate to say it, but there really is something to finding the right time to call.
Too soon and you appear overeager… Wait too long and they’ll feel like they’re second fiddle…
Wait one or two days after the event to call someone you’re really interested in.
Remind them again that you have a wonderful time with them and would love to see them again.
Get after growing the relationships you’ve already begun. After all, taking risks and finding adventure is what life’s all about. And always remember, never be afraid to be bold…
Have any speed dating events gone bad on you? Tell me about them in the comments box below!