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Have you ever met a couple that, when you ask them how they met, they sort of sheepishly reply, “At a bar…?” I bet you have. Meeting girls at bars has become a quasi-rite of passage. And let’s face it, some are are much better at it than others.
What are the most common scenarios for meeting girls at bars?
#1: She’s By Herself…
#2: She’s With A Girlfriend…
#3: She’s With 2+ Other Girlfriends…
#4: She’s With A Group Of Friends (M+F)…
#5: She’s On A Bad Date…
#6: She's Flashing “Help Me” Eyes…
#7: She’s Trying To Pick You Up…
#8: You’re On A Blind Date…
#9: You’re On A First Date…
Look, we all go to bars. We see people we’re attracted to at bars. We take a little liquid courage and things happen.
Bars are, in fact, a great place to run into new people. It’s a low-pressure environment where people are there to have a good time and are generally up for something fun.
That relaxing feeling you get walking into a bar after a stressful day of work is the perfect setup for meeting girls.
You’re in your element. You’ve just got to make it happen.
When you set out to meet girls at a bar, the approach has got to be on point.
There are a lot of people there. She may be with friends, or even with someone else on a date…
A lot of variables are at play in bars that you’ve got to be ready for. You’ve got to have a set of plays in your back pocket to fall back on to nail the initial interaction.
In this article, I want to present these nine different scenarios, in detail, to help you get over the hump and make an impression:
#1: She’s By Herself
It’s not too often you’ll see a girl alone at a bar.
Maybe you catch her while she’s waiting for a friend to show up, or maybe she’s from out of town on a business trip…
Whatever the case may be, this one’s probably the easiest of the scenarios.
No one, even women, minds a little conversation while they’re sitting at the bar alone… most of the time…
If you strike up a conversation and she doesn’t reciprocate, maybe she’s just preoccupied. Chalk it up to bad timing.
However, before you go rushing in, you can gather a lot of indicators on how welcoming she’ll be.
Do what you need to do to get her attention. Walk up to the bar and order a drink. Glance in her direction and wait until you make eye contact.
Of course, don’t let your stare linger too long, but make sure she knows she caught your attention. In other words, let her see you approach… No sneak attacks from behind!
Try to be charming and smile. If she smiles back, then you’re golden…
Another thing you can look for is a wedding ring. Always look for a ring so you know the situation.
So many guys looking for dates have wasted hours talking to lonely married women…
When you’ve gotten the visual signs opening the door to an intro, make your approach and don’t waste a second…
The biggest thing guys can do is project quiet confidence. You want to have a balance between slightly nervous and slightly cocky.
If you’re new to meeting girls at bars, then stick with the “Nice to meet you” and “Can I buy you a drink?”
You can work some more “smooth” lines in once you’ve had a little practice.
#2: She’s With A Girlfriend
Like I mentioned before, girls don’t usually go to bars alone.
Usually they’re either with a boyfriend or one or more of their girlfriends.
The good new is, if they’re at the bar with their girlfriend, then there’s a good chance they’re trying to meet someone too.
Come on, girls aren’t stupid. They know what happens at bars. It’s a good sign when they’re with a girlfriend.
The same rules apply as in Scenario #1 here…
Do not surprise her by suddenly appearing next to her when she turns her head.
Get the go ahead you need by making eye contact (in front of her!) and waiting for the returned smile.
Once you’re golden, walk on over.
There are basically two ways this scenario plays out: Either you have a wing man on hand, or you are flying solo…
If you’re alone, you need to make sure you give the most attention to the woman you’re interested without neglecting her friend.
Most women both want to feel special and draw the most attention from men, but also come quickly to the defense of their friends if they’re left in the cold…
Stand closer to the one you want to ask out, but make sure to pepper questions for her friend throughout the conversation.
Both ladies will get the hint that you’re into one of them, but you’re always a gentlemen.
Navigating the threesome dynamic will win you even more points when it comes time to get her number.
Things will play out a bit differently with a wing man…
To get the best results, embrace a little “natural selection” here. Don’t get tunnel vision on one of the girls in this scenario.
The best approach is to get the visual signals welcoming you over, and then approach with your friend and engage.
After a few minutes talking, it will be apparent if the girls are interested or not. Things will click and one girl will eventually express interest in you or your friend.
Things will sort themselves out. No need to stress who will pair off with whom.
#3: She’s With 2+ Other Girlfriends
Things get a bit more challenging meeting girls at bars when she’s with two or more other girls.
It’s easy to make a fool of yourself approaching a group of women blindly. You walk up and say one dumb thing and you get laughed at – “Aww, he’s cute,” one of them will say…
That’s the opposite of what you want…
You need to be certain before you approach that the girl you’re interested knows you’re interested.
Be a little heavier on the eye contact. Don’t be creepy, but rather try and make it playful.
If you can catch her looking back at you, make a confused face and give off a laugh and see if she returns it.
If you get the laugh, that’s a sign she will be open to your approach even around a bunch of friends.
When girlfriends know their friend wants a guy to come over, they’ll make your job easy. So, your job is to make it easy for her…
They’ll tell you she’s single, encourage her to give you her number and help push along the conversation. It’s fantastic, really.
Once you’ve gotten in with the friends, steal the one you’re interested away just for a moment to go grab a drink.
Once you’re at the bar, tell her the reason you asked her over was to get her number and see if she’d like to go out.
Get her number and then leave so she can enjoy the night with her girls.
#4: She’s With A Group Of Friends (M+F)
This one may be the most difficult scenario. It simply requires calm nerves.
If you notice a hot girl you’d like to meet, but she’s with a group of mixed friends, you’re looking at a serious challenge…
But hey, that’s why we’re here, right? We’re not going to let something like this stop us.
Let me just say a bit about confidence. This really applies to all of these scenarios, but particularly this one.
There’s no such thing as someone who gets the digits every time. As you go about learning and practicing meeting girls at bars, some of it’s going to be rough.
You’ll stumble over your words, have awkward silences, and guess what, you’ll get rejected…
Meeting girls at bars is just like anything else in life. You’ve got to put in the work to get good at it.
Over time, rejections sting less, and you can laugh about it when you get blown off.
But you know what? More women will start saying YES…
With a group of guys and girls, you’re probably not going to be able to distract the one you want to meet to make eye contact and get “buy in.”
After all, they’re probably not there specifically to meet people if they're with a bunch of friends.
In this case, you’ve got to enter an awkward situation and handle it like a pro.
Enter into the group and introduce yourself. Make eye contact with each person and smile.
You have to bring enough positive energy to the group that they won’t feel weird if you stay.
Crack a joke or two and ask them questions about who they are and where they’re from.
Once you’ve gotten the group’s approval, you can start focusing your attention on the girl you want to meet.
#5: She’s On A Bad Date
The last scenario was the most challenging, but this one requires the most precision.
A lot of times you see a guy and a girl at the bar. For whatever reason, the girl isn’t that into him, or something just seems off in their interactions…
You find her attractive, and you guys keep making eye contact. You slip in a smile and she reciprocates. She’s giving you all the signals, but she’s there with another man…
What gives? You never know what’s going on…
They could be on a first date, and she’s hating every minute. Don’t count yourself out!
After all, meeting girls at bars requires a bit of risk and boldness, right? You’ve got to wait until the moment is right.
When he’s gone to the bathroom, or stepped away from her to make a call, walk up to her.
Ask her something that’s obviously not true like, “Is that your boyfriend?” She’ll probably laugh and say, “heck no!” Respond by saying “I didn’t think so.”
Then tell her you want to take her out. Get her number and bail. You don’t want to be lingering when he gets back…
#6: She's Flashing “Help Me” Eyes
Scenario 6 takes the most guts.
You’ve got to feel confident in your game to try this one. It’s pretty common at bars to see girls talking to guys they obviously don’t want to be around.
Maybe he’s not her type, or maybe he’s being really overbearing. You’ve got the playbook and have been practicing, so you’re on deck!
Girls deal with so many creepers at bars, that if you strike it right, you can sweep in and help her out.
Take some time to observe their conversation…
If she’s looking around face that says, “Help me!” all over it while he’s talking, then she probably is dying for someone to come and interrupt what’s happening.
Once you’re sure what’s going on, go up to them and enthusiastically say something like, “Hey! What are you doing here?”
She might be confused at first, but immediately turn to the guy she’s talking to and introduce yourself.
Make up some story about how you two know each other.
If she’s up for some fun, she’ll play along and soon the other guy will be slinking back where he came from.
(Pro Tip: If you read the situation wrong and she’s not playing along, just say to her “Holy sh*t, you’re not Stephanie! Oh my god, my bad! Carry on…” and get outta there!)
#7: She’s Trying To Pick You Up
Meeting girls at bars isn’t always a one-way street. Sometimes the tables are turned and you’re the object of attraction…
A lot of girls have a hard time making the approach, though. They’re not making game plans on how to overcome hurdles to meet guys in crowded places.
Girls also complain that men never pick up on cues that they like them.
By being a bit more observant in a bar, guys can start noticing when women are putting out vibes that they want to meet you.
We’ve touched on eye contact; that’s a given. But if you catch the same girl looking at you multiple times, that’s no accident.
Girls also have a habit of moving in closer proximity to men they want to meet.
#8: You’re On A Blind Date
If you’ve been single long enough, you know that eventually friends and family are going to try to set you up.
My motto is to stay open-minded. You never know how it’s going to turn out.
What’s the worst that could happen? Well, she could be a psycho and you cut the evening short… but that’s about it.
There’s a whole lot more upside, though, if things work out.
Try to avoid taking someone you’re meeting for the first time to a raucous bar. You want to be able to hear her talk.
You’re not trying to get her number; you’re trying to get to know her. Go somewhere with a chill vibe where you can both be at ease.
If you’re a regular somewhere cool, then go there. It’s always a nice touch when the bartender hollers your name when you walk in.
Make sure to have some back up plan about where you need to be in case things turn south.
You don’t want to have to get stuck for hours with someone you don’t mesh with.
#9: You’re On A First Date
A lot of guys struggle with what to do on a first date.
They want something casual and short enough that you don’t have to stay long if things do go well.
If you’re lucky enough to meet a great girl outside a bar, then the bar could be a good option.
Bars are a friendly, open environment where there’s an activity – drinking! Having a couple drinks to get things going is never a bad option either.
Favorite drinks are an easy conversation topic, and there’s always the wait staff or bartender who can chip in to push things along.
Again, if you’ve put in the time to become a regular somewhere, make it pay off in your favor. Take her somewhere the staff knows you, so you get treated well.