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Here's a fun fact: men are naturally insecure. We strive for perfection, but usually end up coming up short… and we know it. If we feel we've perfected something, we feel we've won and we'll move on. The trick in how to keep a man interested is never make him feel he's 100% won you over. Trust me, 99.9% is fine, but never 100%.
How do you keep a man interested?
1. Keep Things Simple At First.
2. Put Your Best Foot Forward, Then Step Back.
3. Let Him Get Bored With Other Women While Dating.
4. Play Your Wild Card Early On.
5. Know You're His First Choice And Act Like It.
If you can put him at ease, it will be easier to keep him interested in you.
Today, let's face it, our dating pool is HUGE. The good news for you is people are still boring and predictable… but there are just more of them out there.
I want to give your learning curve an immediate uptick so you can get out there, excite men about who you are so you can draw out the best they have to offer.
Sound like a plan?
Here are those five secrets, described in detail below:
1. Keep Things Simple At First
For us guys, we tend to steer away from the grey and go right to the black and white.
What I mean by that is we don't like layers of complication when it comes to relationships or anything that appears to add unnecessary drama, especially early on.
So when we're on a date with a woman and she's really interested in us, she can tend to “lean” further into us than she realizes.
I'm not talking physically, but rather emotionally…
Some common examples would be bringing up topics that might be more appropriate after a few of months of regular dating, such as meeting family members, being a date at your friends wedding, etc.
This is totally normal, because the polarity of energy between two human beings when things are “working out” can be incredibly powerful, like a magnet drawing you two together.
So if you're wondering how to keep a man interested, this would be your first step.
Here's the test when you feel yourself leaning in early: pull back just a little bit.
2. Put Your Best Foot Forward, Then Step Back
The truth of the matter is, whether men realize it consciously or not, we are looking for excuses of when things aren't working out to save time. We sort quickly.
Are you someone that can hang with the boys? Are you trying to jump into a relationship too soon?
Let me be clear. This isn't about playing games, especially for us older adults in our 30s, 40s and even 50s. We've been in this game for a minute.
Attraction is an art form. The rules on how to keep a man interested involve intuitive steps both men and women alike are naturally equipped to handle.
It's about putting your best foot forward and mastering your emotions throughout that process. It's never a process that involves any kind of deception or misrepresentation.
It simply requires a sequence of events – almost like a dance – that occur at relatively mutually agree times.
The trick is never to be too far in front or too far behind the person you're dating, got it?
Be present and practice active listening and you'll be stride for stride with him.
One tip I can offer to regulate your “lean in” is to only allow dates to occur once a week for the first 4-6 weeks. This will make those dates really count and have your man ready and waiting for the next date to come around.
3. Let Him Get Bored With Other Women While Dating
Yup, you guessed it. Just by acknowledging your date is probably still scouting the field while in his early stages with you is to your advantage.
By acknowledging those other dates of his are probably “leaning in” and tarnishing the attraction with him should be a game-changer for you.
We don't see what we don't see, so if you don't know you have control over the attraction process, you'd never know to alter how to proceed with the object of your affection, right?
Remember, it's about controlling your emotions…
Yes, calibrating your own emotions is key in how to keep a man interested.
If you're connected and dialed into the other person, the attraction sequence occurs naturally (and shouldn't require too much thought!). So just let it happen!
And if it isn't apparent to you, just know that no amount of effort will “convince” somebody that you both are a good match. And that goes for both parties.
I realized this early on, that the frequency of the “lean in” really hindered my ability to connect with women in the attraction process, and it was happening a lot. I hope you read this as good news for you, because it is exactly that.
READ my review of Rori Raye Have The Relationship You Want to discover how build a fulfilling connection with him >>
4. Play Your Wild Card Early On
You may be asking yourself, “What's my wild card?” Great question! Your wild card is giving him a glimpse at the real, undistilled version of yourself briefly. Open your heart.
If you give a man just one solid reason to stick around, he'll do it 100% of the time. Believe me, other women aren't really letting men “see” them, and men can feel that.
This is that moment on a first or second date where you showcase something you care about to him. It could be family, it could be animals, but you want to accent something meaningful to you.
This gesture subliminally speaks to a man's heart and begins to unlock something within him…
But here's the *secret sauce*… You're giving it to him, then you're taking it back.
As soon as it's highlighted, take it out of the spotlight. Change the subject, even if he wants to talk about it more. Don't let him see you for a whole week after that, perhaps.
After your date, he's not even going to know what hit him. He'll be intrigued. And this, ladies, is exactly where you want him.
5. Know You're His First Choice And Act Like It
No one likes going on first date after first date. But, when you're striking out, it's necessary.
He's already rooting for you! Because if you make this easy for him by being cool and being independent, you win! You'll be making it easy for him.
Men go into first dates with an incredible amount of optimism. Short-circuit the process, never put up with second-class behavior and you'll do great.
Walk out of that date knowing he'll ping you for the second, the third and as many dates as you want with him!
I think the most important connector value for dating people is agreeing to make Christ the center of their lives and not each other. When you raise up a person too much on a pedestal of nearly worshiping them, you’re setting yourself up for disappointments when their imperfections result in something you don’t like about them. If Christ is the center of your life you learn to love everyone you meet in spite of their faults and this is more realistic.
Hi Alexander!
You make a very interesting point of Christ’s role in this conversation. I agree that an anchor in our faith, whatever it may be, will always keeps us connected to each other, but it may have less correlation when it comes to attraction. When we’re attracted to somebody, we’re not necessarily putting that person on a pedestal, we’re simply just attracted to them. Of course, that person will have imperfections, but if you want to properly communicate your interest to another, I feel you don’t need to have that person in the center of your life, but rather they need to feel like you absolutely enjoy sharing space with them and every place that may go.
Thanks Alexander! -R
Hi and thanks for a very interesting review of your experiences and thoughts on this dating topic. It’s fair to say you raise some brave and very true points. If only we would stop worrying about what others think of us and just be ourselves. What makes dating hard is that it’s almost as though neither men or women want to be honest about how they feel as they fear they will be judged. Thanks for sharing this, Kenny
Hey Kenny!
Ahhh if we could only get out of our own way on a date! The good thing with men and women alike is I feel we both want our dates to know we are interested in them once we realize it ourselves, mainly through body language that is typically coming out of us subconsciously. I feel that’s the common ground we share, so if we can have that mutual starting point, at least we have that, right?
The fearless and the honest prevail in this game, that is so true! Thanks for letting me know what you think! -R
My firend and I were just cut chatting of the eyes behind the glass of what a man really thinks during the dating process. I have always thought men have it difficult and focuss too much on impressing rather than just being themselves. I have understood that the competition among men is massive. However, I do not understand why men even compete to begin with.
Hi Linda, thanks for reading!
It’s interesting because I feel there is a very fine line between impressing a woman as a man and men “just being themselves.” Ideally, men are impressing women simply by being themselves, but that typically isn’t the way it plays out unfortunately.
Men are nervous on dates, let’s face it. However, in regards to competition hen almost never thinking about the guy she just went out with or will go out with after him. We’re too in our own heads for that. Instead the “competition” really exists within ourselves in the form of self-deprecation where we sometimes can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel of the best way to present ourselves.
It’s a pretty intricate conversation we’re having in our heads on that date haha! Appreciate you reaching out! -R