flirting at the gym

Flirting is an art form. The more creative you become with it, the greater you will be rewarded and the greater clarity you will gain in how to flirt with girls.

How do you flirt with girls? 

1. Relax & Breathe.

2. Let Her See You Approach.

3. Look Into Her Eyes.

4. Be An Active Listener.

5. Angle Your Body Away From Her.

6. Situational Humor Wins The Day.

Flirting isn't about closing the deal with her, it's about opening her up to looking at you as a sexual being rather than just a friendly one.

The great benefit to us guys is women absolutely love flirting and those of us who are lucky enough to master the basics get women to open up to us in ways that extend far beyond simple conversation.

Here are those six above ways, in detail, of how to flirt with girls to add to your dating tool chest:

stressed out man

1. Relax & Breathe

This is the first thing that goes out the door when we see a pretty girl…

Our adrenaline pumps so much that we forget that those blood vessels are actually popping out of our necks!

I've definitely been a casualty of forgetting to breathe before talking to girls. One time, I decided to use my nervous energy to generate enough courage to walk up to a group of three girls in my mid 20's.

Once I got in front of them, I had no idea what to say…

And I had completely interrupted them…(bad, bad, bad). They laughed me right outta there…

If you want to know how to flirt with girls, take this as Step #1: breathe deep and calm those nerves. It will enable you to settle into Step #2…

tapping woman on shoulder

2. Let Her See You Approach

One lesson I learned the hard way several times before I realized what the heck is going on was surprising the girl from behind


It frames your entire interaction with her where she's back on her heels the entire time. You probably scared her with what I call the sneak attack

And what's worse is you never really got her permission to approach her in the first place.

We need permission before we approach. This isn't done verbally, of course, but rather with eye contact.

Approach her slowly directly in front of her and let her make eye contact with you first.

Don't look away (even though I know it's hard to do, but I'll address this in the next step and how you can practice making eye contact with any woman during a sunny day!).

When she sees you, smile at her. If she smiles back, you now have her permission to approach her. If she looks away, you don't

Simple, right? Getting a better idea of how this flirting with girls thing works?

Get in there, tiger!


READ my review of David Deangelo Sexual Communication for a full education on how to drive her wild inside >>

couple making eye contact

3. Look Into Her Eyes

Being able to not only look into her eyes, but maintain that eye contact with an attractive woman over a prolonged period isn't easy.

One way I used to practice getting good at this was with the “Sunglasses Technique.”

I'd put on sunglasses that had dark-shaded lenses and would walk around the streets of Santa Monica. Anytime an attractive woman would walk by, I'd stare her right in the eyes and crack a quick smile as I passed.

Now, in my head, I knew she had no idea if I was actually looking at her, so what it did was take the pressure off of me and made it easier to do…

Try it sometime! Works beautifully.

Back to the approach… Here's the game with eye contact: the first one to look away loses. See how this is already starting to be a playful process?

That's what she wants!

Strong eye contact subconsciously tells her that you're comfortable in your own skin and that you're worthy of being in her space. It's powerful stuff!

The great thing is that anything that comes out of your mouth is going to sound just a liiiiiittle sexier to her.

man listening to his girlfriend

4. Be An Active Listener

One of the best methods of how to flirt with her is by listening more than talking.

My Dad used to say “Son, you never learn anything with your mouth open,” and it is oh so true

Think of Steve Carrell in Forty Year-Old Virgin. He's at that book store with Elizatbeth Banks, remember? She says things to him and then he rewords those things into questions in a fun, sexy way.

Here's the kicker and why this is so effective with women: Men. Never. Listen.

If you listen to what she's saying and ask her specific questions about her statements while simultaneously repeating a little bit of what she said??

Man! You will be catapulted right into the top of one of the most interesting people she's ever met…

man and woman sitting on a bench

5. Angle Your Body Away From Her

This is a little bit more advanced, *secret sauce* body language kind of stuff. But when you talk to her, you don't want to “over-commit” your body language to her.

If your shoulders are square with hers, it can subconsciously feel threatening since it's quite aggressive and she might dodge you altogether.

The trick is to have something else going on, like waiting for a friend, so that way it's noncommittal. You're subconsciously telling her “Hey, I'm just popping by here and saying hello, that's all.”

It also makes it easier to exit the conversation, but if the flirting is going well, you better get her number before you bounce out of there! (We'll tackle the intricacies of this event in a future article!)

young couple laughing

6. Situational Humor Wins The Day

Men tend to get in their heads when they debate the steps to flirting with girls.

More specifically, we tend to go overboard and most of the time just come off really creepy

Trying to be funny is like trying to dance. It's about to get awkward in here. Don't try to do anything, just do it. Commit and go.

Think of Kevin James in Hitch. Sometimes big, goofy moves pay off, but they're risky when you first meet someone.

Pick something about her that she has no control over. For example, when you approach her, you can just start looking at both her ears.

“Huh…” She'll be like “What?” And you'll point and say,”Your ears. Your left one is lower than the right one…” And then WAIT for her reaction while keeping a straight face.

Trust me, this will throw her off so perfectly, she'll have to laugh. I've used this one many times. All but once it broke the ice.

How To Flirt With Girls Centers On Making Them Feel Good

Unless someone is having an off day or is just not into you whatsoever, flirting gives men validation that they are a sexual being and we always have the ability to give that validation right back to a woman.

And vice versa – It's an ecological exchange. Keeping things light and positive is the way to execute this task.


READ NEXT: How To Get Laid – Learn how to convert flirting into getting to the bedroom >>


  1. Nancy November 10, 2018
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