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I was super excited to tackle the topic of how to flirt with a guy, namely because flirting feels amazing to give and to receive.
How do you flirt with a guy?
1. Approach Him First: Be proactive.
2. Let Him Talk About Himself: It's easier for him.
3. Let Out Your Inner Nerd: Play up your quirks.
4. Fake It Until You Make It: Keep it positive.
Flirting is supposed to be fun, so let's shake off those nerves and get into it. Now, for some of you, I realize that the stakes may be high, or seem that way at least.
You're probably even thinking of a specific guy you want to slyly know of your intentions. I get it.
I've had this happen with women and it can feel paralyzing…
But I want you to know that it's easier than you think and the more you can relax and have fun, the more the guy will appreciate you for your approach.
Here are those four crucial keys described in detail:
1. Approach Him First
I can tell you firsthand that approaching women can be a terrifying experience in a guy's mind.
Notice how I didn't just say terrifying experience, but added “in a guy's mind?”
That's because this entire process in how to flirt with a guy has to do with one thing: mindset.
Where's your head at? No, seriously. What are you focused on when thinking about this guy?
I'm going to take a guess here, because this is what 98% of people out there do when thinking about someone they'd like to date: fear of rejection.
Let's start there, shall we? Whomever is willing to conquer their fear of rejection first and makes a move wins the game.
Why? Because we all have this fear… Watch my Youtube video The 3 Big Reasons He's NOT Approaching You here for more details.
The person who is brave enough to move past it stands out immediately and therefore becomes curiously attractive to all of those around them.
It's basic human psychology (My psych degree was worth something Ma! lol).
My point is that the man you want to approach has his own fears and hang-ups just like you.
If you're able to approach him, it takes the burden off of him to have to approach you, and he'll welcome it whole-heartedly. Make sense?
2. Let Him Talk About Himself
If the approach is Step #1 on how to flirt with a guy, then asking questions is easily Step #2.
In order to flirt with him, you need some information about him. This should be easy because men love talking about themselves. Yes, I can tell you firsthand!
Why is this? We know ourselves very well. It's easy to talk about something we know so well.
Pick one or two things you're curious to know, and make sure it's nothing too personal. The best way to evaluate this is to ask yourself if you would answer your own questions. Got it?
Another wonderful psychological event occurs in this very simple exchange: self-disclosure.
When we disclose information about ourselves to another person, we become more comfortable with the person to whom we're sharing details.
We reveal something and then wait for feedback. If the person we're revealing information to is smiling and inviting, we'll want to reveal more.
If they're closed and avoiding eye contact, then we're not so apt to reveal anything else.
Ask a couple of questions, pay attention to the answers, and most importantly, have fun!
3. Let Out Your Inner Nerd
You read that subtitle correctly. Every single one of us has an inner nerd. The problem is we're trying so hard to hide it all the time.
This has been my single biggest tool I've used as a dating coach to draw out my clients (see more about my story here on my About page).
What I mean is, when you think of a nerd, you may think of a geeky guy or girl with glasses who is shameless in their quirks of doing things that may not be mainstream…
The great thing is, knowing that everyone has an inner nerd is a significant advantage for you when it comes to how to flirt with a guy.
Why? Because it's a sure-fire way for you to bond with him.
After listening to the answers to your questions, you're going to pick up on things where you two have common ground.
Remember that crucial information and bring it into future conversations and flirting sessions.
Over time, you can start to reveal quirky things that make you unique. If you've got him smiling or asking questions about you, that's your indicator he finds you interesting.
Unleash your inner nerd!
4. Fake It Until You Make It
Our day-to-day can feel heavy at times. We're used to seeing faces of people who look checked out, people who are tired and people who are stressed 24/7.
Something happens when we see a smile. We perk up. We feel optimistic. No better strategy in engaging him, honestly. So smile!
If you're taking anything away from this post on how to flirt with a guy, know that if you're having a good day and showing it by smiling, you're going to lift the spirits of anyone you interact with, including that guy you're interested in.
Positive energy can be intoxicating…
You want to take advantage of the days when you feel 100% on point and interact (and flirt!) with guys on these days.
You do not want to flirt with guys on days when you're not on your A-game, because chances are he'll know it because it will be written all over you. Understand?
The Best Mindset Of How To Flirt With A Guy
I think one of the biggest hang-ups with flirting is people getting in their own way.
They put so much weight and significance on a particular interaction that they stress themselves out! You're fiiiiiiine!
Guys are literally waiting to talk to you.
When push comes to shove, relax! I want to you to say in your brain “Hey girl, you're just saying ‘hey' to a cute boy, that's all.” “Heyyyyyy.”
Girls who break the ice are like heroes to us men.
Honestly, men put up less of a front with a girl in these instances because it's like “Oh. Okay, we can short-cut to the fun stuff now.” Seriously.
You get the best of us because our guard is totally 100% down.