THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS. PLEASE READ MY DISCLOSURE FOR MORE INFO.
Dating can be full of uncertainty, especially if the guy you like isn’t ready to be exclusive. This can cause a lot anxiety if you want different things in the relationship. However, there are ways to convince him on how to be a priority in his life.
With these four steps below, you will go from being “just another girl” he’s dating, to being his one and only girlfriend (and maybe even farther).
Even if you start off exclusive, you can use these steps to motivate him to give you the attention you deserve.
Step One: Express Interest In Him
In order to be a priority in his life, you first must let him know you’re interested. You can skip this step if you’re already dating, but if he hasn’t noticed you yet, it’s time to start flirting.
First, you need to figure out what your flirting style is.
Are you the type of girl who will buy him a drink and attach your phone number? Or maybe you’ll simply play with your hair and smile at him from across the room?
Better yet, perhaps you’ll be so bold as to just blatantly ask him out!
All these are good, but you need to find a style that works well with your personality and your relationship goals.
If you’re going to ask him out, you still need to “prime the pump” and flirt with him a bit first.
If you’re trying to get him to ask you out, he’ll want to be reasonably sure you’ll say yes first. You’re just making his job easier!
Here’s a few time-tested methods that tells a guy you’re interested:
Body language is the best signal that you’re interested in a guy, especially if you’re trying to flirt from across a crowded room.
Eye contact is crucial, but just long enough to get his attention and then look away to tease him.
You can play with your hair and smile at him too. You can even mouth the word “hi.”
As you move in close, you can brush his arm or shoulder with your hand, laugh at his jokes, even give him a playful shove or two.
Lean in close to his ear and whisper a secret, nothing too salacious, but just enough to tease him and so he can feel your warm breath.
Compliments are even better than pickup lines because they’re not cheesy.
Approaching a man and complimenting him on how he’s dressed, how he looks, or even what he’s drinking will do wonders for his confidence and let him know you’re interested.
You’ll also be able to tell whether he’s pompous or humble by the way he reacts.
If he compliments you back or just says “thanks” and strikes up a conversation, it’s the first sign he’s a keeper!
Whether you’re dating him already or looking for an introduction, you can casually assert yourself into his life.
Return to the same bar, church, grocery store, or place you met him because chances are, he’s a regular.
You don’t even have to be obvious about it. If he subconsciously gets used to having you around, chances are he’ll ask you out soon or think it’s a sign that you’re around so much.
You have to make him think you’re a natural part of his life, even if he doesn’t realize he thinks that!
Step Two: Nail Those Early Dates
When you’re figuring out how to be a priority in his life, you have to know how to stand out from the other women.
You may have competition if you’re not exclusive, but even if you don’t, you’ll want to find out if you like him and you’ll want to keep his interest.
The first few dates are crucial. Consider these strategies:
Look Your Best.
Obviously, he should like you for who you are no matter how you look, but frankly, you’re not at that point yet.
Most people need to work up to that. Put in the effort before you see him to put on your makeup, shower, smell nice, and wear relatively attractive clothing.
After you’ve “set the hook,” you can walk around in sweats and choose not to put makeup on.
This isn’t just about men being shallow or only caring about looks, either. It’s about showing you care enough about him to spend your precious time looking nice for him.
Looking good shows you care about yourself, as well!
Be Interested In Him.
He needs to know you’re interested in him as a person and at least have a passing interest in whatever his hobbies are.
If he feels like he can’t talk to you about who he is, the relationship isn’t going to last.
You don’t have to necessarily enjoy his interests, but it’d help. You do have to at least carry on a conversation about them and not think he’s stupid or juvenile for having certain hobbies.
Being interested in him leads to respecting him, and he needs your respect if he’s going to make you a priority in his life.
Simply put, if you’re a boring person, he’s not going to stay interested in you for long.
We make things (and people) a priority in our lives when they’re captivating or interesting to us, and generally don’t want to waste time on things that don’t fit well in our life.
You can’t necessarily help whether you’re interesting or not. The best thing you can do is have hobbies, know how to talk about them, and be excited and confident about them.
That attitude will transfer to him and hopefully he’ll think they’re interesting too just by the way you talk about them.
Don’t let the chemistry die. Keep making him feel special by flirting with him and he’ll do the same.
Flirting releases endorphins, and endorphins make us want more of something. Don’t stop just because he asked you out; you still have got some work to do!
In the very early stages of a relationship, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. More likely, it makes him forget about you or allows another woman to swoop in.
If you want him to make you a priority, you have to make sure your schedule allows him to be a priority, if he’s worthy of it, of course.
You need to go on at least one date a week for the first three months you’re dating.
Not only will this ensure that he’s getting to know you the best he can, it’ll also leave little time for him dating anyone else.
Step Three: Set The Hook
The key secret in how to be a priority in his life is how you approach the three-month “honeymoon” period wrapping up.
Maybe you two have been exclusive up to this point, or maybe not.
Either way, as you approach this point, you should be looking to take the next step in the relationship, whatever that is.
Three months is enough of an investment of your time and emotions to either continue or break off the relationship.
Use the following suggestions to ensure he’ll make you the priority in his life, whether that’s being exclusive, moving in together, or just taking the relationship more seriously than he has been:
Learn His Love Language.
He needs to know you care about him and knowing his love language is the best way to do that.
Love languages aren’t just for romantic relationships either. Friends and family should speak them to each other, so don’t let the word love scare you.
If you know whether he speaks Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Gift Giving, or Acts of Service, you can make him feel special.
In return, he’ll want to make you feel special and he’ll make you the number one priority in his life.
Define The Relationship.
You need to know what you want out of the relationship, be it marriage, moving in together, or going exclusive, and you need to tell him what you want.
It’s hard for him to give you what you want if he doesn’t know what it is.
This can be scary, and it can definitely result in realizing you want two different things in a relationship.
But if that’s the case, it’s for the best — you don’t want to waste your time in a relationship that will end up unsatisfying.
Hopefully the work you’ve put into the relationship will yield the results you’re hoping for.
Increase The Romance.
Your sexual boundaries are your own and you shouldn’t compromise them to keep a guy.
So, if you’re the “wait until marriage” type, stick to that. Still, you should be aiming to increase your intimacy around this time.
Maybe this means having more serious conversations, going on more romantic dates, or being more physically intimate.
What that looks like depends on your needs and his. But if your intimacy isn’t increasing, your relationship isn’t going anywhere.
Make Yourself Indispensable.
“I can’t imagine my life without you” is one of the most cliché lines you can hear in a romantic comedy.
Still, it’s what you should be aiming for if you want to become a priority in your man’s life.
Spend time with your man, support him, talk with him, and become part of his everyday life. If you establish these habits, it’ll be weird for him to not see you.
You’ve become an indispensable part of his life, one that he’ll miss if he drives you away.
He’s going to try his hardest not to mess up. Hopefully, you’re willing to put in the same amount of effort.
Step Four: Keep The Relationship Strong
You’ve finally figured out how to be a priority in his life. Congratulations!
But now you want him to continue that habit. Do the following for a healthy relationship:
Practice Good Communication.
Good communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. So develop, practice, and maintain good communication skills.
When you fight, fight with love and respect. Express your feelings honestly. Accept the other person’s feelings for what they are. Apologize when necessary and forgive always.
Don’t let the romance die, ever. This is important even for couples that have been married for fifty years.
Keep flirting with each other, even making out or doing the little things you did in the early days of your relationship that ignited your chemistry.
Try to still have a “date night” at least once a week. If possible, use these as an excuse to try new things together — learn to dance, sky dive, or try new foods.
These new experiences will bond you and help you be passionate about each other.
Put Him First (Sometimes).
Your needs are important, and there are many times you need to take care of yourself if you’re going to love him the best you can.
But your needs can’t always come first, and many times caring for someone means putting their needs before your own.
Learn to know when his needs must come before yours and when it’s ok to be a little more selfish.
Communicate your needs to each other and be honest when they’re not being met.
Remember Those Early Dates.
Sometimes when we get in a rut, we forget why we fell in love.
Ruts aren’t necessarily bad, they actually mean you’re very comfortable with each other. But during those times, it’s important to celebrate your love.
If your relationship feels stale, think about what first made you fall in love with each other.
Talk about them and try to recapture the feeling. You may have both changed, and that can be OK. But just know the person you fell in love with is still in there somewhere.
Another thing that is important is to celebrate even the silly anniversaries — your first kiss, your first date, your engagement, and of course your wedding.
It may seem excessive, but during rough times remembering and celebrating simple things like these can keep your relationship together.
Everybody changes, but you might as well make sure it’s for the better. Make sure you’re growing and improving together.
Set goals for yourselves, but share them with each other. Encourage, challenge, and empower each other to be better versions of yourselves.
Change is going to happen, so guide the change together and you won’t grow apart.
Getting a man to make you the priority in your life can seem daunting at first. Really, all it takes is a series of simple steps that motivate him to put you front and center in his life.
Follow these steps, and if he’s the right guy for you, the pieces will fall into place!