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While some men may be hard to read and you ask yourself “does he like me or is he just being nice,” there are some sure signs that he’s interested and not just being nice.
A lot of these signs are unconscious responses to being attracted to someone, so most men won’t be able to hide them!
If you see a majority of these 12 signs, you can be sure he’s interested:
1. He’ll Lick His Lips
If he likes you: When a guy licks his lips, especially repeatedly, it’s a sure sign of physical and sexual attraction.
It might also mean he’s nervous.
His nervousness is good for you because it means he has something to lose by talking to you. Chewing on his lip is another sign he’s nervous in a good way.
On a subconscious level, he’s thinking about you sexually and what he wants to do to you with his lips. He’s also making his lips look particularly kissable.
If it’s just nervousness, look for the other nervous signs (airing out his shirt). Then, you’ll know he’s looking for more than just a conversation.
If he’s just being nice: It’s possible he’s just being nice if you see he has chapped lips or if he’s liberally applying chapstick while you talk.
The other signs will be absent, or he’ll only lick his lips once rather than repeatedly.
How to respond: For most of these signs, you should “return in kind.” Lick your lips, or even bite them in a particularly sexy manner.
Smile your best flirty smile or purse your lips as though you’re deep in thought. These will make you irresistible. Try not to hold his nervousness against him!
2. He’ll Control The Conversation
If he likes you: When you’re wondering “does he like me or is he just being nice,” consider if he takes control of the conversation.
If he likes you, he wants to appear in control because that’s attractive to women.
He’ll want to steer you away from things he doesn’t want to tell you. He’ll avoid embarrassing stories or facts about his life.
Of course, he’ll want to know certain things about you, things he considers important before he asks you out.
If he’s just being nice: When he’s just being nice, he’s going to care more about being polite than about being attractive.
He’ll talk about or admit things you wouldn’t want a stranger to know, and he won’t fish for things from you.
How to respond: You have two options.
- Let him be in control, answer his questions and let him brag about himself a bit.
- Play hard to get. Push back by trying to wrest control of the conversation in a tangle of mental and verbal foreplay.
Which one you do depends on your (and his) personality. But option #1 is always going to be the “safe” response if you want to guarantee you get a date.
3. His Eyebrows Will Spasm
If he likes you: I’m not talking about a blepharospasm here, that annoying and incessant eye twitch you get when you haven’t slept enough.
I’m simply talking about a raised eyebrow, the kind you do automatically when something catches your interest.
This is an uncontrollable micro-response and is a sure sign he finds you interesting and wants to know more.
His eyebrow will raise when he sees you or you say something interesting.
If he’s just being nice: This one is hard to control, but people do it for all sorts of reasons.
Take in the context with the rest of the signs before you try to decide, “does he like me or is he just being nice?”
How to respond: You should flirt with him and see what sort of things make that eyebrow pop again. You can even do this from across the room if you don’t want to approach him yet.
You can also change your body language to show that you’re open to him approaching you. It’s likely if he’s genuinely interested, he’ll come to you and strike up a conversation and spend quite a long time doing so.
4. He’ll Correct His Posture
If he likes you: Posture says a lot about our health and how we think of ourselves. A good posture communicates health, confidence, and power.
He’ll want to project all these things, so he’ll make sure he’s sitting or standing straight with his head up and shoulders square.
If he really wants to build a rapport with you, he’ll turn his body toward you and mirror your posture.
He’ll do this not only to feel connected with you, but to close off the intrusion of any other men into the conversation.
If he’s just being nice: He’s not going to care about his posture. He might allow himself to slouch, and his body language won’t try to mirror yours or close off others.
How to respond: Be aware of your posture and change it to mirror his. Compliment him on his looks and drop subtle hints that you know he’s confident and influential in whatever he does.
5. He’ll Air Out His Shirt
If he likes you: If he’s interested and attracted to you, he’s likely sweating because he’s nervous or aroused.
Airing out his shirt is a way to minimize the effect of the sweat to prevent a poor response from you.
He could also be airing out his shirt could also be a subconscious way of mustering confidence to talk to you or releasing stress.
This is like taking a deep breath, cracking your knuckles, or pumping yourself up.
If he’s just being nice. He’s probably still going to air out his shirt, because no one likes to be sweaty while they’re talking to other people.
If it’s not hot where you are, he’s probably airing out his shirt to gain confidence or because he’s nervous, otherwise you can’t use this sign to be sure he likes you.
How to respond: Be nice to him and try not to let the fact that he’s sweating turn you off. Give the guy a chance. He really wants to talk to you but you’re so amazing, he’s nervous.
6. His Voice Will Go Higher
If he likes you: If you’re wondering, “does he like me or is he just being nice,” one way to tell is to listen to his voice.
Many times, whether he’s nervous or excited, his arousal will cause his voice to go higher. He’s probably not thrilled about it, but it’s not going to keep him from talking to you.
If he’s just being nice: His voice won’t really be affected. Some men might not be affected even if they are interested, so this is a hard one to gauge all by itself.
Look for other context clues to make sure he likes you.
How to respond: Make your voice low and sultry. This will make it sound sexy and let him know you’re interested. Ignore the fact that his voice is higher, he can’t help it.
7. He’ll Be Staring
If he likes you: Men are visual beings — we are attracted to things through our eyes (rather than emotional connection), and we usually can’t help but communicate when something catches our attention.
Beauty captivates us, so if he can’t take his eyes off you, he’s not trying to be creepy, he just thinks you’re stunning!
If he’s just being nice: He’ll make a bit of eye contact, probably look you over once or twice, maybe even smile, but he won’t stare at you.
How to respond: I’m sorry this probably comes off as creepy. Try not to hold it against him. If you’re interested, you should catch his eye and smile.
You could even motion for him to come over, or you could walk over and start a conversation yourself!
8. He’ll Maintain Eye Contact
If he likes you: Humans aren’t really wired to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds, especially with strangers.
If he’s gazing deep into your eyes, even during a prolonged conversation, he’s definitely into you. By maintaining eye contact for more than six or seven seconds, it means he’s definitely into you.
If he’s just being nice: He won’t maintain prolonged eye contact, because it’ll be too uncomfortable for someone with whom he doesn’t have an intimate connection.
He’ll look you in the eyes for three or four seconds and then look someplace else.
How to respond: Maintain the same level of eye contact toward him. This will let him know you feel the same way.
The other option is to play coy and shy. Tease him with your eyes, looking away frequently, and bite your lip. This will make him feel extremely masculine.
9. He’ll Compliment You
If he likes you: One way to tell, “does he like me or is he just being nice,” is see if he gives you random compliments.
“Unprovoked” or unwarranted compliments are one of the biggest signs a guy is interested in you.
Not only does it mean he’s noticing things about you. But he wants to endear himself to you and make you feel good.
If he’s just being nice: He might compliment you once or twice if you’re not fishing for compliments, but it won’t be to the same level, or about the same things, as if he’s interested in you.
You’ll be able to tell by the tone of his voice if he’s interested or being nice.
How to respond: Accept the compliment graciously, compliment back on things when you can, and whatever he compliments, use that to your advantage.
If he compliments your hair, play with it as you talk to him — you’re accentuating what he already likes!
10. He’ll Bumble His Words
If he likes you: Much like sweating profusely or biting his lip, he may bumble words if he’s nervous!
Mumblings, mixing up words, forgetting what he was trying to say, or rambling on and on when he should stop are all included in this.
If he’s just being nice: He might be socially anxious, but most likely if he’s just being nice in talking to you he’s not going to have too much trouble speaking with you.
Used context clues to decide if he’s just a shy guy, or if he’s nervous because he likes you.
How to respond: Give the guy a break! Hopefully you can look at this as endearing or cute and have mercy on him. Laugh it off and tell him he’s cute to put him at ease.
11. He’ll Escalate Through Touch
If he likes you: Touch is the most electric and obvious way to flirt with another person.
While it can mean he’s overstepping his bounds, especially if he’s not really interested, it’s nearly always a sure sign he’s interested.
He might brush your shoulder or elbow or do any other number of minor to moderate physical gestures to show he’s interested.
If he’s just being nice: If he’s just being nice, he shouldn’t be flirting through touch. But some men just have that personality.
Still, if you’re experiencing this, it’s relatively safe to assume he’s not just being nice.
How to respond: Meet him touch for touch: gentle touches or brushes of your hand to his elbows, arms, hands, or shoulder are all valid if he’s given you the go-ahead by flirting with you or touching you first.
If you don’t appreciate the touch, close your body language or tell him outright he’s moving too quickly for you!
12. He’ll Be Sexual
If he likes you: Sexual touch can definitely be uninvited or inappropriate, but it undoubtably communicates he’s interested in you.
He may use suggestive (or explicit) sexual language or touch more than just your shoulders. If you’ve welcomed this, you’ve hit the gold mine. This guy is putty in your hands.
If he’s just being nice: He won’t be acting this way if he’s a “nice guy” who’s not interested in sex or dating you. If he’s not interested, he’s being a creep and you need to shut him down.
How to respond: If you’re at a place where you like this from him, reciprocate. If this has gone too far, express your discomfort, and either cut off contact, or allow him the chance to apologize.
You can look to these 12 signs as the answer to your question “does he like me or is he just being nice?”
An interested guy probably isn’t’ going to do all of these, especially if he’s not nervous to talk to you. But if you see multiple signs, you can bet he’s doing more than just being nice.