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Finding the right guy can be difficult. If you’re looking for lasting love, you want to make sure he’s high quality and compatible. But it can still be difficult to know if he’s the right one, or if he even wants to be married.
But he might be dropping hints that he’s husband material.
Look for these 10 signs he’s your future husband and you can be sure he’ll treat you right:
1. He Speaks Your Love Language
Love languages are the ways in which each of us give and receive love. Many people have one dominant language, but you may have more than one way in which you express intimacy.
These are excellent tools for any healthy relationship.
Even if you haven’t talked about it, he may have gone out of his way to find your love language.
It can be difficult to know someone else’s, but with a bit of observation, he’ll know whether you speak physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, or gift giving.
It’s possible he’s doing this intuitively, even if he doesn’t know what love languages are.
This just means he’s very responsive to your emotions. He does something, he recognizes it makes you feel loved and then he keeps doing it.
This is an excellent sign that he’s going to work hard to meet your needs.
It’s also very impressive if your languages differ and he tries hard to speak your love language.
If he’s physical touch and you’re words of affirmation, it can be difficult to show love in a way that’s not natural to you.
If he’s able to do this, it shows that you motivate him to take initiative. He wants to show you love, and he can put his own needs aside to meet your needs.
2. He’s GREAT With Kids
One of the best signs he’s your future husband is how great he is with kids, especially if he makes a point of showing you.
Does he have nieces or nephews or younger siblings that he talks about a lot? Is there any mention of him wanting kids in the future?
Does he get down and play with the kids, let them do his hair or paint his nails, or spend one-on-one time with them?
These are excellent signs he’s going to make a great dad… and he wants you to know it!
If he goes out of his way to show you how great he is with kids, he might be trying to position himself as your future husband.
Even if you don’t want kids, the fact that he’s good with them is probably a good sign. It means he’s attentive, selfless, and fun!
3. He Loves His Mom
You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats the women in his life.
While his relationship with his mother is probably the most formative relationship of his life, how he treats his sisters and his female friends is also very important. He’ll treat you the same way.
Have you seen him call her regularly, especially on important holidays ? Does he tell her he loves her? Do you hear him speak well of her, especially when she’s not around?
If his mother is absent, dead, or wasn’t a good parent, this can be hard to measure…
But he probably has some other women in his life that you can use to figure out his attitude toward women.
If he doesn’t have any females in his life, it might be a bad sign that he doesn’t know how to interact with them in a healthy manner.
You probably don’t want a full-fledged momma’s boy, but if he loves, respects, and takes care of his mom, and goes out of his way to show you he does, he’s showing he’s a family sort of guy.
4. He Loves Your Family
Another sign he’s your future husband is how he interacts with your family. Differences in family, and how they get along with your partner can make or break a relationship.
No one should have to choose between their family and the man they love.
Therefore, if he goes out of his way to spend time with your family, treats your mom well, gets along with your dad, and is already considered part of the family to any of your little cousins, nieces, nephews, etc., it’s a good sign he’s letting you know he’s already made a place for himself here.
What happens when you have a horrible family that treats everyone poorly? You have a couple of options:
Break off contact with your family.
I know it’s hard, and you think they deserve your attention, but breaking off toxic influences is both healthy and can send a message to your family.
How does your partner handle this break? Does he support you, does he bad mouth your family, or does he not understand at all?
Maintain an emotionally distant relationship with them.
Visit them sometimes, involve them in superficial elements of your life without risking burning yourself out emotionally.
This can be the hardest place for your partner to deal with, as there’s essentially mixed messages going on.
Ideally, he’d support your desire to see them, while defending you and him against the toxic elements of your family.
He shouldn’t bad-mouth them, but he doesn’t need to go out of his way to be affectionate, either.
Do your best to love them for who they are, while giving your partner a lot of leeway with how he interacts with him.
At this point, just the fact that he tolerates them probably gives him a lot of bonus points.
Just add it to the positive signs he's your future husband.
5. He Calls When He’s Late
It may seem like a little thing, but does he call you when he’s going to be late for a date or an appointment?
If he needs to change plans, how much notice does he give you? Even if you’re a hands-off or independent person, checking in often is a great sign.
If you’re a more anxious person, it can be really easy to worry about someone who is running 15-30 minutes late, especially if they’re almost always on time.
Sure, mundane things happen (traffic, losing your keys, etc.), but so do catastrophic things.
When people care enough to let you know they’ll be late, it says a lot about them.
Firstly, it shows good communication, which is necessary for any healthy relationship. Secondly, it shows concern for your time and your emotions (he doesn’t want you to worry).
Finally, it shows that he’s self-aware — he can admit his mistakes and express them.
If someone is constantly late, especially if they never tell you they’ll be late, it shows either a serious need to control the situation or a severe lack of concern for anyone else.
At best, they’re just super disorganized. These can all be massive red flags for a relationship.
6. He Does Your Laundry
One of the signs he’s your future husband is if he does your laundry. Doing someone’s laundry is a rather intimate gesture.
You’re going through their sometimes-stinky clothes and personals, and he might remember that you don’t always smell like roses and coconut.
It can also be time-consuming, and depending on where you are, expensive.
You might not want him to do your laundry. It can be embarrassing.
Even if he’s seen you naked or in the very underwear he’s washing, there’s something fundamentally “basic” about your laundry, especially if you’re not really sure how committed your relationship is.
But if he offers, let him do it. You can bet he’s a future husband who will do his share around the house.
7. He Takes Care Of You
Being sick is one of the most vulnerable moments a person can experience.
You have less control over your body, you’re prone to being crabby, and all you want to do is sleep. It’s a situation any normal man would run away from to give you your “space.”
Additionally, a lot of guys refer to “that time of the month” derisively because they feel it’s just as hard for them as it is for you, and they don’t know how to deal with a “sick” woman.
However, a true man will not only stand by you when you’re not feeling well, they’ll take care of you.
Sure, even when some guys split, they’ll send you flowers or soup. But they’re either too scared to catch it themselves, or don’t know how to take care of you, so they remain hands off.
Other guys don’t even know how to take care of a woman when her monthly cramps come. They run for the hills.
A guy who’s ready to be your future husband will hold you in bed while you rest. He’ll take care of all your household chores or hold your hair back while you puke and even clean it up for you.
You’ll see him do all of this without complaining. When you’re at your worst, he’ll rise to his best.
If he knows how to take care of you, and goes out of the way to do so, he’s probably showing you he’ll be an attentive husband.
8. He Talks About Your Future
Another of the huge signs he’s your future husband is that he talks, and make plans for, your future together.
Many men are dreamers, and that’s not unusual. Some also may talk about dreams just to make you think the relationship is going well.
But if he talks about it more than normal, on a broad variety of topics, and goes as far as planning for the future, he’s signaling that you’re going to be together for a long time.
If he’s talking about and planning vacations, having kids together or if he’s ring shopping, you can bet marriage is front and center in his mind.
There are smaller signs, as well.
If he asks about your dreams and goals or talks about his family and how he wants to implement their traditions in his future family — both fabulous signs.
Even if he mentions things about what types of house style he wants and where he wants to live. These are all indications that things are moving towards marriage.
9. He Lets You In On Finances
Finances are a rather personal thing. It’s still considered taboo to ask a person how much money they make, and it’s rude to brag about it.
Even many people within committed relationships and marriages don’t talk about finances.
It’s rather common to have separate checking accounts in a committed marriage. But money is one of the biggest things that can ruin a relationship.
Here’s some things he might talk about if he’s planning a financial future with you:
-How much he makes each year, and what he typically gets for a raise
-Any financial planning, investments, or retirement he has
-What he pays for bills
-His financial dreams and goals
-Things he’s saving for: a house, vacation, college fund, etc
These may all seem like boring things to talk about, but they’re really important.
It’s good to be on the same page financially, and even if you’re not going to share finances, to know what the other person makes.
10. He Can Handle Difficult Conversations
Most men don’t like talking about the details of a woman’s body.
But the truth is, if he knows how your cycle works, and if you’re on any birth control, it can really lead to a more intimate relationship.
Even if you’re not planning on having children, understanding why your body acts that way helps him understand your needs.
Men don’t like talking about these things because they find the idea gross. They also just don’t like talking about things that make them uncomfortable.
It’s one of the reasons why talking about emotions can be so difficult for so many guys.
If he’s willing to talk about these things, and willing to have difficult or uncomfortable conversations with you in general (rather than just withdrawing), it’s a good sign he’s husband material.
He’s letting you know he cares more about your needs than his own comfort.
It can be hard to know if your partner is the right one, or if he’s even interested in a deeper partnership.
With the above tips, you can be sure that’s he’s hinting at something greater and giving you signs he’s your future husband.